THE FIVE PHASES OF MY POETRY

Interviewers, including students and reporters often asked these questions:

·         Why do you write poetry more than other genre?   

·         What do you write about, or what are the themes of your writing.

My answer to the first question is, I began with poetry because my introduction to literature and writing was through poetry. As a child I sang children songs (lagu kanak-kanak) or traditional nursery rhymes while playing with friends.  When we have radio in the house, I spent hours listening especially to songs. I picked up the lyrics which in those days were usually beautiful and meaningful. Some tunes used beautiful and romantic pantuns. I came to learn and appreciate the beauty of words and encountered the poetic value in my language. I roamed the gardens, the seas and mountains described in the songs, and picked up beautiful expressions which kindled my imaginations. My love for poetry was nurtured and I began to write.

Looking back my themes can be summarized as below

·         From 1967 to about 1972   I wrote mostly about social issues especially  poverty among farmers and fishermen.

·         From 1972 to 1980 was my restless years, searching for myself and the meanings of live.   

·         In the eighties my marriage and Islamic awareness calmed me down. I found meaning in family relationship.

·         In the nineties, the situations of the Malays disturbed me most.

·         By 2010 I found myself coming back to society and the reality of live.

In the first phase, from 1967 to about 1972,  I wrote mostly about social issues especially  poverty among farmers and fishermen. As a young enthusiast I read anything I could find on poetry and on what was happening in the local literary scene. Articles by my favourite poets, Usman Awang and Kassim Ahmad inspired me. They advocated writers as voice of society  .  Most of the early poems are published in my first personal anthology, Sesayup Jalan (USM Press 1974). One of them was about about a fishing village, Tanjung Dawai

This evening at Tanjung Dawai

Admiring your scenery

But who owns your beach

No, no you certainly

You only have a boat and a net

To cast your life in the open sea.  

The second phase from 1972 to 1980 was my restless years. I was searching for myself and the meanings of live.   I was looking West to T.S.Elliot and later, the absurd writers especially Samuel Backett and was very much disturbed by the notion that life is a never ending wait. This was when I wrote AT THE BUS STAND depicting life as the wait  for the bus to a destination that you have not decided

At the bus stand

Smokes from moving cars

Has landed in my eyes

 At this bus stand

A long shadow

Is lying

On the dust

And I waited on

The buses have gone

I am still at the station

Making no decision

On my destination.

My marriage in 1979 brought in the third stage in the eighties, concurrent with Islamic awareness that calmed me down. I found meaning in family relationship and prayers. During this time there were many poems talking about love, family and keeping harmonious relationship with Allah and His creation. An example is a poem entittled Certainty

You may not be the best man

But for a woman like me

I am not sure there is anyone better

Do not ask if I am happy

I too will not question your emotion

For when one tries to be too certain

one ends up with more suspicion

The more we analyse and discuss

There is more to learn,

The nineties could be taken as the fourth stage . I was disturbed and worried about the future of the  Malays. Politicians and everyone else were talking about how the Malays  are losing  ground in their own inherited land. This time I look through the pages of history, legends and folk tales and felt very sad  that  we   have made mistakes along the way. I wrote poetry about the misdeed and lust of Malay rulers, that had weakened the empire of Melaka long before the attacks from outside.

One such story was the heartless killing of the Bendahara (Prime Minister) of Melaka and all members of his family by the Sultan.

THE LAST WORDS OF BENDAHARA OF MELAKA

I did not resist when they come with the keris

To take my life

If it is Your Majesty’s wish

After all it is my own saying

That the Malays never disobey their king

But I do regret

That your majesty should forget

As every tree has its root

Everything has its beginning

The start and their origin

Demang Lebar Daun installing Sang Sapurba

As  the first king

They come to a treaty, an agreement

A king is not a king

without his men

Since then Demang came second

A Bendahara in status and rank

He even became the king’s father-in-law.

In the state  protocol

Sang Sapurba is above all

But in  family relation

Demang in a higher position

From there

To Singapore and Melaka

Bendahara were addressed  by their tittles

Seri Maharaja, Paduka Raja

Seri Wak Raja

Meaning king’s father, guardian of the ruler

For it is true bendahara arrre pillars

The strength of the nations

The king heads the country

The bendahara in authority

The king wwears his crown

The bendahara guards his ground.t

The sharp keris of his majesty

Pierced through the bendahara’s body

Tha madness of  the action  

Has wounded a nation.

A king is but a servant

To the rules that make him a king.  

Crossing the millennium I found myself coming back to society and the social problems .There are so much ills around us that I felt guilty to be indulged in aesthetic .

One such poem is

OUR NEW MOSQUE

As promised before election

Lorries of cements, pebbles and sand

Trampled our land

As promised before election

So began the construction

For days and months

Then a mosque with magnificent dome

sparkles in the sun

And come the big occasion.

We stood in procession

From the foot of the hill

To the edge of the mosque

With flowers and posters

The whole village was there together

to welcome a minister

Beating of kompangs and speeches

Delivering  massages full of  praises

For the new mosque

Speaking of loyalty to god

Loyalty to His messenger

Loyalty to the government in reign

And this loyalty need not be changed

The  minarets  stand tall  to the cloud

The call to prayer clear and loud

But my grandma and friends

Never come near the mosque again

Grandma said often

The new mosque is magnificent

The floor is raised on higher ground

The steps and tiles arrangement

Boost of their creativity all around

But we are already old

Our feet wobbles on sparkling marble

They don’t build this mosque for us to pray

But for a show off

and more of a display.

TO BE ELABORATED AND CONTINUED.