MALAY SHORT STORIES IN TRANSLATION.

My short story ANITA have been published in a personal collection MENERUSKAN PERJALANAN (CONTINUING THE JOURNEY) Kuala Lumpur, Dbp 1987, reprinted in 1989 and 2016.  I have done a free translation of the story as published below. It has been compiled with other short stories for a dual language book. 

The first part of the book is an account of my personal involvement in writing, how it began, the experiences, and  the struggle that followed.  The  long and winding road taken  manifested the hardship that a woman in Malaysia has to overcome to pursue her aspiration of becoming a writer or to create a name for herself  amidst the social and cultural situations. 
I  talk  about issues in poems and short stories, exposing creative processes of some selected work that have been highlighted.  The issues in the writings are also common in the literary works  of other contemporary Malaysian writers. This will serve as an insight especially to   foreign students and readers , into contemporary Malay literary scene and the background  that mould the thought and creativity of Malaysian writers. The writer also made observations of fellow  women writers, some of which did not survive and disappear after marriage.. At the earlier stage writings by women did not receive  attention and review. They were usually considered of lesser quality than works produced by male writers.

Free translation of Anita

Anita and I were close friends since school days. While in high school she was a well   known figure   in our town because she excelled in almost everything . She was on top of the class in her academic performance. She was a fluent debater and a leading actress in drama society while I was just an ardent spectator in the audience. Not enough with that she was also in the school netball team, while I was only a member of  the cheer group.

I must also admit that she looked more beautiful .  Her skin glowed  and her eyes sparkled due to physical activities, mental alertness and intelligence.   She was friendly and got along easily with anyone. She became the centre of attraction wherever she was. It was not unusual when several boys from other schools tried to  come near me, only later to ask my favour to introduce them to Anita. Any boy would feel proud if he was seen  walking with Anita. I knew that many girls were jealous and secretly wished they were as popular as Anita.

I too wish I could come out with   have brilliant ideas like Anita. I saw how impressed the audience was when Anita voiced her opinion on ways to improve the living standards of the rural people. I know that I will never be near it. Put me  standing on stage in front of the crowd ,  my knees will start shaking .

Anita befriended the boys that she met in student activities, at school halls, or on  playing fields. But I did not see any signs of Anita picking anyone for a special relationship. I understood that she was in no hurry, she had ample time and ample opportunities to make any decision.

We studied in form six. Anita continued to gather friends and fans and have not chosen anyone as a  boyfriend. it’s a different case with me. I do not have many friends but it is known to many that I am attached to Halim who rode with me every day in the the school bus .

Later, Anita, Halim and I went to a same university. Anita’s Higher  School Certificate results were  much better than us. Her good result was a pride of the school. It glorified our school name.

Anita continued the good work at the university.  She soon emerged as a student leader and elected as student council member. In that first year she was elected as a committee member of the Association of Malay Language. A few months after our arrival at the university, Anita has become known as a leading personality. I felt proud that this outstanding personality came from my birth place.

Anita became a national figure in student organisation. She had made progress rapidly while I  did not change much. I still prefer to sit at the back rows. I still looked down and dared not lift up my face during  tutorials, hiding away  praying that the tutors would  not ask me challenging questions. It was Anita who often raise her hand ready with opinions and bright ideas.  As usual I would be among those ready to listen and jot down her points.

 Anita was active  and her main interest was  in Bakti Siswa or Students Voluntary Service. The society visited rural areas giving free tuition classes  particularly in Science and Mathematics, the two subjects  that the rural Malay students  were thought to be weak in. This voluntary teaching was done during the university semester break.

I heard Anita campaigning for more students to get involved in the community service. She said “ We should be aware and help the poor students of our own race.   We have to do our part by talking to the rural Malays who believe that they are destined to be poor and such were not encouraged to strive  to improve their living condition. We had to change their thinking . It is we who must carry out a major role in changing the attitudes and way of life. If not us, who else? "

I felt guilty and ashamed that I have never help.  I admired Anita’s strong will but what could I do. Halim would  not approve of me going into the villages.  He said I'd better go back home during the holiday and  help my mother. Besides I also felt obliged to help my own mother who was always busy with the domestic chores. I should take opportunity of the university holidays to take a load off her back. Halim said with a smile that it was better for me to have all the practice of cooking and looking after younger siblings because in less than a year we would be married. He said that  he did not need a leader or a champion of the people as a wife. All he needed was a woman who could give full attention to the family. I did not say anything and I was carried away in a beautiful dream of a beautiful life with Halim.

Not that I did feel the  limitations  of being attached. I felt it  once or twice that  I could not move freely.  But on the other hand  there was an advantage of having a steady boyfriend since it gave me some sort of protection. The male students dared not disturb me as they respected me as  “belonging”  to Halim. Girls without a partner would easily be the target of gossips. Such was the campus culture.

Among what is termed as “unpaired girls” was Anita.  During early days in the campus, I noticed that she was closed to Asmawi . She often talked about him and I thought it as a good sign. The relationship did not work well when Anita was chosen to go to Japan for a study visit.  Asmawi was not pleased and tried to  talk to her against it. After that they were not seen together again.

After obtaining a Bachelor of Arts degree, Anita and I continued to take Diploma in Education for another seven months to qualify as teachers. Halim went home to start a career  as an administrative officer. He was appointed   an  Assistant District Officer, the position of his dream all these years.

Three months later we were married in a befitting ceremony, even though I still have a few months left to study for the Diploma.  Of course we have a reason behind the immediate marriage,  and that was  to make it easier for me to get posted to a nearby school for a reason to be near the husband. The Education Department was usually considerate and generous about this.

In January the following year I was sent to the school of our alma matter. And Anita was together with me.  

Anita started  as a teacher with ardent interest.  This was  her vocation as she had shown in voluntary teaching in rural areas under Student Service program. That was her mission for pursuing the Diploma in Education although a graduate  of such standing would have no problem getting jobs  that was thought to be more glamorous such as in the civil service.   I admire her determination and quietly admitted to myself that I took the Diploma In Education because Halim encouraged me to do so. According to him as a teacher I would only work half a day and there would be more time for the family. You may say that I did not have vision of my own.

Anita performed her job with  enthusiasm,  bringing some innovations   to upgrade  student performance. Besides her work in school, Anita  joined Youth Associations as a channel to serve the society, carrying the good work nurtured in the campus.  There were programs for school leavers and free classes for the illiterate adults. 

Anita said to me, "This is the time to serve our society. People had passed remark  that student leaders were active in the campus only and  once graduated they will forget what they had advocated for. They will be busy making money.   Let me prove them wrong. I'm glad that we are  sent back to our  own place. My job will be easier since we are quite familiar with the people and the situations here".

Anita’s assumption that the job would be easier in a familiar surrounding was soon proven wrong.  A few months after setting up  adult classes and activating the youth association, something annoying happened.

One morning we were in the teachers  room, marking students work. Suddenly an unfamiliar lady walk in, looking left and right apparently searching for someone. On noticing Anita, she  walked to her desk.  Her face was a mixture of anger, worry and sadness. Anita stood to welcome her even though not knowing what was the visit for. The unexpected visitor took a nearby chair and started to say something. I could guess that she was angry but she kept her voice low perhaps realizing that she was in an office. As my desk was a little away from  Anita I could not hear their conversation despite my curiosity. It could have been something unpleasant because Anita’s face turned red and sad.  Fortunately, the other teachers were not around.

I wanted to ask Anita for the detail of the visit but there was no time as we had classes to rush to. I had to hold the curiosity until after the final bell. Anita told me that the woman was the wife of Rosli, the Vice President of  the Youth Club. Anita was  working closely with him and  irresponsible  people were spreading  rumours of a  romantic relationship. What hurt Anita most was the visitor’s unkind words that as  an old maid Anita was desperately looking for a husband and as such did not mind to be a second wife.

I felt sorry for Anita. I felt very sad if those were what is in store for her after all  her devotion and sacrifice. I held her hand, squeezed he fingers saying “Doesn’t matter, Allah knows you are sincere and will reward accordingly”.

After a moment of silence I said   "It's difficult  to be a woman"

Anita answered promptly  "No, not that difficult . It is only difficult to be a woman of your own will. "